1. |
Get Better
01:08
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the itch is all I have, I'm stuck inside my skin. facing my problems, trying to push out from within.
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2. |
Tiny Flame
03:41
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you say you're not a voyeur anymore. I'd believe you but I heard you behind the door. you ask what I have to be sad for, but really I don't feel that anymore. it's like a tiny flame in my head. I could put it out, but it burns me up instead. it'll flicker until I'm dead so I guess I'll just hide out here in my bed. our mental illnesses are fading away. we're doing better. at least it seems that way. maybe that's just what we say. we just have to act like we're okay. it doesn't matter that we're wrong that tiny flame has been burning all along. our mental illnesses are fading away. we're doing better. at least it seems that way. you say you're changing, but I know we're the same.
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3. |
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each day is the same, burdened by self doubt. the hope fades and the fear stays. my body keeps locking me up but I want to crawl out. spilling coffee and makeup on the floor. I don't know how I even live here anymore. clumsy fucker with her head in the clouds. can't even say my opinions out loud. it never even feels like the weekend anymore. if this is living the dream, then I want to wake up. you're noticing that I've become so flawed. you can't fix me I'm already gone. you tell me I should get closer to god. I just can't cling to things that don't look me in the eye. all that held meaning for me, all that had some sort of purpose has slipped through the cracks and I don't know why I'm doing this. your taste is stuck to the roof of my mouth. a wretched aftertaste that I can't get fully out. and I've got the cigarette burns on my arm to remind me that I don't make good choices anymore. I'm fading away and I don't care. buried in the ground, no need for air. I'm fading away and I don't care. buried by myself, no need for air.
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4. |
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it follows me - the shadow I see. and I'm so scared that I will go back to what I was before. and I'm sick of waiting until I grow up to be better at everything. adolescent behavior? I can't tell if it's changing. everything has been a haze for the longest time. going one step forward but my brain is two steps behind. and I will walk across the street, even with cars coming at me, to show that I am in charge of my own life.
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5. |
Peach
03:48
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I wanna do what makes me happy, but do I even know what does? I can make all the empty promises I want. I can ignore the remorse I feel. cut into myself to know something real. I can make all the empty promises I want. a good person deserves good treatment. that's why I want to be treated like shit. I feel so guilty when you're nice. it's the same thing every single time. every fucking time.
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6. |
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involuntary noises hovering in the air. you're just trying to form a legitimate connection. individuals knowing it's impossible to find mutual affection. will you be the next to fill my time? to spark my interest and incense my mind? it happens again no matter how I try, people pulling at my outer fabric and pushing themselves inside. if this is a mistake why does it feel right? and I'm a fool for buying that. your involuntary noises haunt my mind. as you look me in the eye I just laugh.
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7. |
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dark rings circling swollen eyes. greasy hair, stretched tight back across your scalp. you grinned at me with your bloody teeth. I could be fooled; I could be enticed to believe. so charm me, persuade me. there are burns in secret places bruises and cuts so evasive. so many shades of purple red. when I see you glancing at me, I know I'm stupid but I forget. I've been persuaded, I've been charmed to death. so finish me off, you haven't ended me yet. my abusive lover is my own mind. you know me too well, you lure me in every time.
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8. |
Plum
04:55
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clarity within a shining mirror. the air outside wraps into your lungs. it's unsurprising when you lose that feeling, horrified at what you've become. you're all mixed up inside. don't get lost on your way home. I thought I saw you like a wolf all on its own. beating its feet against the cool hard ground, I think you'll be gone when I turn back around. it only takes a second to lose yourself within the pumping of your chest and the trophies on your shelf. surrender to what they want you to be. forget the words that you said to me. pounding in your mind, sometimes pushing itself into a whisper like a sigh. breathing out the desire to be nothing more than the slipping of dust on the floor.
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